Optical Fun: Can’t Read this Parody

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Dr. May and Dr. Martin pose as 40-year-old patients whose eyes are changing and they now find themselves struggling to read up close. The solution?? Glasses!! Presbyopia commonly affects people once they reach the 40’s, and as Dr. Johnson raps, “It’s not fair but it’s a fact of life.” This parody of MC Hammer’s classic rap anthem “U Can’t Touch This” is a must-see!!

If you “can’t read this,” call us and we’ll get you seeing! Featuring Drs. Andrew May, Barrett Martin, Bob Johnson, Rick Hartman, and Bob Hammond. Watch this video and you will see what makes Johnson Optometric Associates the best (and most fun) eye care practice in North Carolina!

“U Can’t Read This” (lyrics by Andrew May)

My, my, my 40 hits you so hard makes you say, “Oh my word”
How could this happen to me? I woke up one morning suddenly I couldn’t read
I feel old, when I move my book out,I’m squintin’ and I’m strainin’ but I’m filled with doubt
And I know, there’s got to be a way, I better go see Dr. Martin and Dr. May

Go to the doc, and tell him what’s the haps, Say I can’t see my pill bottles, I can’t see my maps
I can’t see my Kindle, I can’t see my phone, How the heck am I supposed get home?
My GPS is blurry and Suri ain’t right, I can’t see the numbers to dial, the White
Pages, not even close, I need some medicine, I need a dose
Something to help me see, And this is the stuff, uh, I can’t read

Here’s what happens when you hit 40, The lens that focuses images to read
Starts changin’ and not doing its job, You’re strugglin’ to see it, just ask Bob
“That’s right, and that’s tight, It’s not fair but it’s a fact of life”
But don’t you worry, cause we’re gonna fix it, We’ll measure you up and you’ll be kickin’ it
The print? Nice and clear, We’ll have you reading at distance and near

Want some examples? I’ll give you a sample, Of people that have had this happen, Jen Aniston
Ace Ventura and Brad Pitt, Now Jack and Julia say “We can see it!”
“That’s what she said” from Steve Carell, And Meryl and Hillary, yeah, they’ll tell ya
Forrest Gump and his mom, Alec Baldwin has got em on, on, on

Every time you see me,You’ll thank your lucky stars
I’m dope on the dials and I’m magic on the chart
Now why would I ever stop doing this? With helping people read, I feel so legit
I’ve studied around the world, from Bama to the Quay
It’s “Doctor, go Doctor, MC Doctor, yo Doctor”
And the rest can go and play!!!


NW77th Eyewear - The Optical Journal